


Last Goodbye

by hgiel



Category: K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-03
Updated: 2011-11-03
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgiel/pseuds/hgiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The band K-Pop has broken up and they meet for drinks after seeing a show Young One is in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Goodbye

Woo Hyun shrugged his jacket tighter over himself to keep out the cold. He didn’t take into account the weather change, so he hadn’t worn anything too warm. Soon he would have to pull out his winter clothes.  
No, soon he would be wearing clothes assigned to him.  
He forced down the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that kept popping up as his entry date to the military neared. He wasn’t scared of going in, but it would have been odd not to feel uneasy though, right?  
Honestly though, that wasn’t the only reason he was nervous. This was the second send off he was getting, a more intimate one with Young One. The whole band had gotten together a month ago, went to Young One’s show, and then out to eat. That was suppose to be their last time together, before Woo Hyun went in the army, and while Ubin was on break. Then, Young One had called him a few weeks after, and invited him to dinner.  
Woo Hyun had to buy another ticket to see Funky Funky though, since he was meeting Young One there before the dinner, so he had joked it was only because no one was coming to see Young One’s show. Still, he was pretty sure Young One had other reasons...  
Woo Hyun’s phone rang and once he saw the ID was Young One, he answered it.  
“You in the parking lot?” Young One asked.  
“Yes, where are you?”  
“Still inside, its someone’s birthday, so I have to stay while they give her a cake, you know how it is. Come in and Ill meet you backstage.”  
It was really uncomfortable being in the backstage area of Funky Funky. Seeing Young One wrap up a show with other people felt weird. Last time he was there, Woo Hyun got the urge to find their manager and climb in the back of their black van, but he wasn’t the one wrapping up a show anymore.  
“No, I’ll wait here, I parked next to you, so just meet me there.”  
He could actually hear Young One smile. “Keep an eye on her for me.” Meaning his motorcycle. He loved that bike.  
“Sure...”  
He sounded so at ease, maybe Woo Hyun was wrong about why Young One wanted to have dinner... After what happened at the last dinner though, he must not remember if he was being this cool....

Dong Hwa had gone with Ubin to get more drinks, and they all knew Jumin had found a table of women and wasn’t going to be back for a while, if at all. Woo Hyun was left alone with Young One, who had gotten himself drunk early in the night. He took liquor worse then anyone Woo Hyun knew, so he tried to avoid it, but celebration had brought him into some drinking games, and he lost, as always.  
Just as Woo Hyun thought they would have to call the taxi for him already, Young One spoke. “God, Im sorry Woo Hyun.”  
“Sorry about what?” He asked in honest surprise.  
“Im sorry for myself.” Young One laughed. “Im so happy, and Im so sorry.” He sat up straight against the wall and looked as if Woo Hyun was suppose to have a reply to that.  
“You are drunk.” Woo Hyun finally said.  
“Im drunk too.... Im happy I got a job at Funky Funky, and Im sad the band broke up. Im happy I have Hyun Young, but God, Im sorry to be dating her. I was saying goodnight to her tonight, but I couldn’t wait to be rid of her. I didn’t want her to come with us, you know? I could just think, I don’t want you to see me with her. That’s pathetic right? Like Im hiding that fact that Im dating her from you?”  
What did Woo Hyun have to do with Young One’s girlfriend? He hadn’t met her, but he tried hard not to meet any girl Young One dated. He wanted his friend to be happy, but Woo Hyun admitted, if only to himself, he had feelings for Young One, and he wasn’t about to put himself in an uncomfortable situation.  
“I wanted to tell you before, but I knew it wouldn’t be good for the band if you didn’t feel the same. Hell, even if you did. I kept it to myself and then when we went on break, I thought, Ill do it now. But I couldn’t. I thought at the end of our last album, NOW. But no, I couldn’t then either. Today I felt like I should tell you, but what good would that do? You are leaving soon.”  
When Young One stopped talking, Woo Hyun tried to force his heart to stop beating so fast, so he could take the opening. “What did you want to tell me?”  
“That Im in love with you.”  
“WE’RE BACK!” Ubin cried as he crashed into the booth. “You should see Jumin out there, he’s terrible. Hey, Young One is out so soon?”  
Woo Hyun turned back to Young One, only to see he was slumped over asleep now. He opened his mouth to answer Ubin, but couldn’t get a sound out.  
That night he wanted to wait for Young One to sober, or at least wake up, so he could talk to him. But that never happened. He at least wanted to be the one to take him home, so he would get a chance to speak with him, but Dong Hwa was closer to Young One’s place than he was, so he had no opportunity. As days went by, Woo Hyun lost courage to call him, and started to wonder if it had happened at all. Maybe he was drunk himself and imagined it all? But then Young One had called and asked him out to dinner, and he knew it was real.

“Sorry it took so long.” Young One apologized, jogging to meet him. “You ready to go?”  
Woo Hyun could only nod, because he found seeing Young One in front of him made it even worse. He wanted Young One to say something about the brief conversation that had been interrupted a month ago, he wanted to say something himself. He wanted to have the conversation before Young One could even stop walking.  
“Its not far from here, the place Im taking you, we could walk but its kind of cold right?” The white puffs of air emanating from his mouth accentuated his point, and he smiled, as if he had done it on purpose. “Lets take my bike.”  
“We could take my car.” Woo Hyun suggested, hoping the privacy of the car would encourage Young One to take some initiative.  
Young One’s smile grew coy. “But there isn’t really a reason to take a big car when we can take the motorcycle. I can drive you back afterward. Besides, you haven’t gotten a chance to ride on it yet, and you wont get another one for two years.” He said, fetching the spare helmet.  
And there it was, said off handedly. He wasn’t going to be able share anything with Young One, let alone a bike ride, for two years. Whatever Woo Hyun hoped would happen tonight, there was no hope for them. Whether Young One consciously knew what that meant or not, he must have figured the same thing.  
Young One passed him the helmet, oblivious to the mood change, and motioned excitedly as mounted the bike. Woo Hyun tried to work the buckles open while a good portion of his self control was keeping his eyes dry.  
“You having problems?” Young One asked with more then a hint of humor to his voice. “You CAN buckle a seat belt, right?” He got off the motorcycle and took back the helmet, unfastened the buckles, and thumped it down onto Woo Hyun’s head with enough force to sober him.  
When he pulled the buckles to clasp them under Woo Hyun’s chin, the tension that has been building burst and Woo Hyun, in what seemed like an out of body experience, choked Young One’s name out sharply. Young One’s hands stopped immediately as he waited in surprise.  
“I can do that myself.” Woo Hyun mumbled, in recovery from mortification.  
“Alright.” Young One chuckled. “I just want to make sure we get there before they close.”

Young One raised his soda in a salute. “To your safe return.” He said, taking a drink, and waited for Woo Hyun to take one himself before he set the glass down. “You could have gotten soju, I could drive you home.”  
“What would I do with my car then?”  
“Its safe, and I could drive you to get it tomorrow.”  
The prospect of another awkward meeting was enough to make Woo Hyun die right there in his seat. “No, Im fine.”  
The whole dinner, neither of them spoke a word of there even being a party with the others. From the outside, they, Woo Hyun hoped, were both relaxed and having a friendly last meal. Inside, Woo Hyun was becoming more and more depressed, and less brave. If he had just said something when he met up with Young One in the parking lot, he wouldn’t have had to go through this. Even if Young One had laughed in his face and told him it had been some sick dream, then at least Woo Hyun would know. As it was, he felt like he was in limbo, and had no control over the situation anymore. It was obvious Young One wasn’t going to mention what he had said.  
“You excited?”  
“About the army? No. Its not like a vacation, why would I be excited?”  
“Ubin went on vacation before he entered, you should have too, it might have padded the blow.”  
“How about I plan a vacation for afterward, and then Ill have something to be excited about.” Woo Hyun suggested.  
“Ah, good idea! Maybe I should wait and take a vacation at the same time. Where would you like to go with me? We have to show up the other guys, think of something good.”  
Before Woo Hyun could begin to answer, a young women rushed the table, startling him into dumbness.  
“Young One! Byung Hee told me you were here and gave me a ride.” She explained, sitting herself down next to Young One, who seemed to still be getting over the surprise of seeing her in the first place. “You must be Kim Woo Hyun? Im Hyun Young, Young One’s girlfriend.”  
Woo Hyun’s throat closed up, stopping any kind of polite greeting he could give, even if he was able to think of one, so he held his hand out, and she shook it.  
“Hyun Young.” Young One said in a gentle admonishment. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”  
“I wanted to surprise you, and besides I wanted to make sure I met Woo Hyun. He’s the only one of your friends I haven’t met yet.”  
“We’re already done eating.” Young One explained.  
“Oh! Good, then I didn’t disturb you guys.”  
Before he could stop himself, Woo Hyun thought ‘Ya, right...’ And that’s why he didn’t want to meet any of Young One’s girlfriends. He didn’t want to feel any hostility toward someone that was going to be a part of Young One’s life. It would put more distance between them. But at this point, it didn’t matter much anymore.  
Let Hyun Young be just another reason why they couldn’t be together. Let her be just another reason Young One wouldn’t think of him romantically unless he was drunk. Let her be the personification of all of Woo Hyun’s heartaches.  
“You ready to go?” Hyung Young asked Young One.  
“I need to take Woo Hyun back.” He answered.  
“I don’t have a ride though.” She said weakly.  
“It’s alright.” Woo Hyun said, getting to his feet. “I can walk.”  
“No.” Young One said firmly, getting both Woo Hyun and Hyung Young to give him twin expressions of bewilderment. “Its too cold, and I told him I would give him a ride. You shouldn’t have just shown up unannounced. I’ll come back for you and drive you home okay?” Something in her sad eyes made Young One change his tone. “Have a drink, Ill pick up the tab when I get back, okay?” He squeezed her arm and brushed past her, and Woo Hyun followed.  
They didn’t say anything to each other on the drive back, nor checked to see if Hyun Young was staying put.

Young One’s bike turned off, and instead of hopping off immediately, as he had done when they got to the restaurant, he waited silently. Woo Hyun soon realized he was waiting for him to get off, so he could go meet Hyun Young again, and scrambled off the bike.  
“Thanks for the ride.” He said, unfastening the helmet, which was much easier then trying to get it on.  
Young One got off his bike then, and took his own helmet off. “Im sorry about that, I didn’t know she was going to show up.”  
“I know, its alright. Its late anyway, and you have another show tomorrow.”  
Nodding, Young One took the spare helmet and put it into the compartment in the back of the motorcycle.  
I wish I could say something now, Woo Hyun thought. Not even in his thoughts could he indulge the idea without beginning with ‘I wish’ If he could say something now, then good or bad, they were both leaving, for a long time.  
But I can’t, he told himself. But somehow the prospect of escape so close at hand made that rational voice even more faint.  
“Young One?” He said, almost inaudibly. “Do you remember what you said to me a month ago? When the other guys were gone?”  
Young One turned back toward him, with a generic smile. “When we were drinking?”  
The relief of being able to hear Young One over his own heart beat was almost enough to cover the panic of Young One’s beginning with pointing out he was drunk.  
“I don’t really remember a lot about that night, you know Im a terrible drinker.” Young One laughed half heartedly.  
He didn’t ask what Woo Hyun had meant, so Woo Hyun tried to gather his thoughts before he could think to. “Well, ya, thanks again for the ride. Ill see you when I get some vacation time maybe?” He turned to his car. “Drive safe.”  
“I fucked up, Woo Hyun.” Young One sighed. “I didn’t mean to tell you, Im sorry.”  
Woo Hyun turned back to see Young One wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked almost as at a loss as Woo Hyun was.  
“I meant to say that earlier, but Its hard to...bring up such an awkward topic.” Young One explained.  
“You didn’t mean what you said then?”  
He took a moment before answering. “No, I meant it.”  
It was what Woo Hyun was hoping to hear, but somehow it turned out to be the worst possible answer.  
“Why couldn’t you have told me before now?” Woo Hyun’s voice trembled. “Why did you have to do this now?”  
“Im sorry. I wouldn’t have, if I had any sense.”  
“I love you too.” Woo Hyun managed to say.  
Young One smiled sadly back at him. “I know. That’s why Im so sorry. If I didn’t know, it might have been a selfless confession that I wanted to get off my chest. But, I know you love me, so it was selfish to say it, knowing it wouldn’t matter no matter what happened. Don’t cry Woo Hyun.” He said softly.  
Woo Hyun hadn’t realized he was crying at all, so he already had no control over the matter, no matter how embarrassing. Young One reached out and pulled him into a hug, sighing heavily.  
“Im sorry.” He said again, into Woo Hyun’s hair.  
Woo Hyun was unnaturally warm in the frigid weather due to the embarrassment, the emotional conversation, Young One’s body against his, and the fear that he was now faced with. He was scared of saying anything, moving, breathing, anything that would end this moment and make Young One let go of him. As long as they were like this, Woo Hyun could imagine that neither of them had commitments, or any hindrances, and could be together. As soon they let go, the reality was going to come crashing down on Woo Hyun so hard, he was scared that he wouldn’t ever recover from it.  
“I can enlist now.” Young One said suddenly. “I could get in maybe even before next year. Three years at the most and then we would both be free.”  
Woo Hyun’s grip around Young One’s back loosened. “You need to go pick up Hyun Young.” He said gently.  
Young One didn’t move for a moment, but finally pulled back and took Woo Hyun’s face in his hands. He didn’t say anything, but stared so intently at him, Woo Hyun worried he was deaf to some message Young One was trying to relay.  
“You go ahead first.” Young One said, letting him go, and stepping back for Woo Hyun to get to his car door.  
Woo Hyun wanted to say something more, but what could he? He couldn’t even think of what he would say if this were a fantasy, because he was the one who ended the moment. He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he didn’t say anything at all, not even goodbye.  
Woo Hyun got in his car, pulled out, and on into the street. The whole time, Young One made no motion to move. Not even as he grew to an ant’s size in the rear view mirror did he give any indication he was still alive at all.


End file.
